Although it was never shown in the movie, Godzilla didn't beat Mechagodzilla...Vin Diesel did.

He holds the world speed record for jet-turtle, 213mph, which he set on June 18th, 1998 at the Bonneville Salt Flats on the back of a Carolina Snapping Turtle wearing rollerskates with 6 JATO rockets strapped to his back.

Goliath threw the match against David when he heard the winner had to face Vin Diesel.

Chameleons don't change colour; Vin Diesel paints them.

Dragon Ball Z is closely based on Vin Diesel's last piano recital.

Vin Diesel had unprotected sex with Virgin Mary while she was pregnant with Randy Quaid. Social confusion ensued.

Vin Diesel made a cameo appearance in Surf Ninjas -- however, his scene was subsequently cut out after he punctured Ernie Reyes Jr.'s throat with a golden umbrella.

Vin Diesel is single handedly fighting the war on terrorism, in between cat-naps.

Vin Diesel does, in fact, dream of electric sheep despite not being an android.

This one time, a rabbi, a priest, and Vin Diesel walked into a bar. Vin Diesel killed them both before another horrible joke could plague mankind.

People might tell you that the atoms that comprise matter are mostly empty space. Not Vin Diesel's atoms -- that man is solid.

If you rearrange the letters in Vin Diesel it reveals his credo: "I End Lives."

There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Vin Diesel. Fuck you, team.

Most people don't know this, but the bible actually ends with Vin Diesel showing up at the crucifixion with a pair of Uzi's and kicking some Roman ass. Vin Diesel was all like, "Jesus, I totally saved you." Then, off on the horizon, a bunch of Romans show up riding dinosaurs led by Mecha Pontious Pilate. Jesus busts out this sweet ninja sword and says, "Now it's my turn to save you." Then Jesus and Vin Diesel run towards the Romans in slow motion. That's how the bible ends. It's a cliff-hanger. I can't wait for the sequel, "The Bible 2: Water...Into Blood".

Vin Diesel touches himself at night.

Hitler did not kill himself because the Russians had reached Berlin, but because Vin Diesel had broken up with him.

He is responsible for the extinction of the dinosaurs. A Diplodocus said his mom was fat so he killed each and every dinosaur with an icepick and a baseball bat wrapped in 40-grit sandpaper.

If ever given the choice between saving Zion and saving his one true love, Vin Diesel would choose both.

Vin Diesel once addressed a joint session of the British parliament while having rough sex with Margaret Thatcher. It was considered by many to be the crowning moment in British democracy

Vin Diesel singlehandedly built the Pyramids at Giza, the temples of Chichen Itza, and the complex of Angkor Wat in 5 days using only an ice-pick and sandpaper.

Vin Diesel began his acting career as the malevolent mechanical shark in Spielberg's Jaws.

Vin Diesel once blocked a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick. He is the only human in recorded history to do so.

Vin Diesel always asks for the same Christmas gift: A box of Smurfs and a sledgehammer.

Vin Diesel once used Gary Coleman as a hand puppet. Coleman said the experience changed his life and led him to give up smoking.

Vin Diesel once burned an entire nation because he believed they had his stapler. He did this with the fury of his mind.

Vin Diesel put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp. He however did not put the ram in the rama lama ding dong.

Vin Diesel has the only known fully functional, cast-iron pancreas.

When Lucifer waged his war against God and all of Heaven, Vin Diesel was assigned to punish him for his insolence. Stopping only to singlehandedly beat the shit out of Satan's army of renegade angels, Vin chased him through seven galaxies, raped him several times, and threw him back to our solar system so hard that when he hit Earth's surface it created an immense cavernous funnel with nine shelves.